July 26, 2007

By Dr. Mary C. McDonald

Secretary of Education and Superintendent of Catholic Schools

When I was growing up, my family would spend the summers at the beach. Learning to swim in the Atlantic Ocean also meant learning to respect the unpredictability of the undertow. I learned that respect after I was pulled from its grasp by the last person on a human chain of rescuers, as I was being sucked under the water for what I thought would be the last time. It was an experience I did not want repeated. I had a choice to make. I could stay on the safety of the shore and ensure that it would never happen again. Or, I could become a stronger swimmer and prepare for the risk. I chose the latter.

How many times in our parenting have we faced choices that have the same effect on us? How many times as parents have we felt "pulled under" by the pressures from peers or the media or by the arbitrary dictates of a secular society? We fight to keep our head above the "water" of opinions and do what we feel is right for our children. Yet, sometimes, we feel as if we don't have the strength to hold out. It becomes easier and easier to just give up, to go along, to be pulled by the strong current of popular opinion, even when we do not really agree with it. It becomes easier to assign blame and offer excuses. It becomes easier to accept what is morally wrong when what is morally wrong becomes the familiar environment and doing what is right becomes the risk. We, as parents, cannot afford to cling to the perceived safety of staying on the shore while the next wave of attack comes from a secular society.

And the attacks will come, from the society in which we live, and the virtual society of cyberspace. As of September, 2006, there were 106 million registered members on My Space, an on-line personal entry into cyberspace. If My Space were a country, it would be the 11th largest country in the world, between Japan and Mexico. The average My Space web page is visited 30 times a day.

Would you allow you child to wander around the 11th largest country in the world alone, and talk to 30 strangers a day? You child just might be doing that now, on the computer. The internet, just like a large country, is a good thing. What is not good is to allow children to wander it alone, without instruction or direction. We, as parents, have a choice to make. We can just sit on the sidelines and risk letting society raise our children, or, we can become stronger parents and prepare for the attacks that we will encounter. Choose the latter. It is not easier. It will require a lot more strength, self-discipline and patience. But to do otherwise is to deny your ability to parent. We need the strength to unleash our potential to parent. We must have the courage of our convictions and a strong moral code. We need a deep faith in God. And, we need to pray. God has given us inexhaustible reserves of strength and courage through prayer.

There is something else we need. We need each other. Too often we are tempted to just give in to the pressures around us and say, "What can I do? I am only one person." I cannot help but think, "Where would I be if even one of the twenty-seven persons on the human chain of rescuers felt that way?" Not one of them was able to save me by himself without getting caught in the undertow, and perhaps suffering the same fate. But, by working together, supporting each other, trusting each other and relying on each other, by staying connected, they pulled me to safety. Maybe we should take the same approach with our children. Maybe we should seek out others who will join with us in rescuing the children from all that threatens them from becoming the person God intends them to be.

Perhaps, by working together, supporting each other and relying on one another, our children can be pulled to safety. There are times when all parents struggle. Perhaps it will strengthen the human chain if we relate to where parents are in the struggle and reach out to them. It takes intentional effort to reach out, to not forget a time in you life when you also struggled. Our children are not yet strong enough to save themselves. They need us and we need each other. Teach them how to be stronger by exhibiting that strength yourself. It is a strength grounded in prayer and faith and a willingness to strengthen the human chain.