December 13, 2007

By Dr. Mary C. McDonald

Secretary of Education, Superintendent of Schools

And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary. For with God, all things are possible." (Luke 1: 30, 37)

I have pondered those words often during those times in my life when I saw no way out of a crisis, no good ending in the midst of a storm. When a circumstance in my life seemed hopeless, I would wonder how God could bring something good from what I thought was an impossible situation. And yet, time after time, I saw His hand in an outcome I could have never imagined. There was just such a time a couple of months ago when God broke through my life and showed me, yet again, that with Him, all things are possible.

It was just an ordinary day, filled with a few too many things to do. As I drove from one of our schools back to my office I felt a sharp pain in my chest, unlike anything I have ever experienced. I was just a few blocks from my house so I headed there and called my husband, Joe. By the time I pulled into my driveway, I knew I was sinking fast so I called 911 for help. The ambulance and my husband arrived at the same time. By then, my pulse was faint, and my blood pressure barely detectable. I drifted in and out of consciousnesses as I was rushed to the hospital. The emergency room was alive with purpose driven activity as the doctors and nurses tried to stabilize me. I was in extreme shock. The ordinary day was gone and I was fighting for my life.

It was not known at the time that I was brought into the hospital but a small device I had implanted about a year ago to close a hole in my heart had malfunctioned and perforated my aorta. I was bleeding to death internally. All I knew was that I was in a crisis, an impossible situation. Over and over in my mind I repeated the words "Do not be afraid. With God all things are possible." It gave me peace and an overwhelming sense of acceptance of whatever was happening.

My conditioned worsened. Waves of intense agony came over me as my heart, drowning in blood, struggled to beat. My family had gathered around me. I looked at my son, Matt, and said, "I don't think I am going to make it. This must be what Christ felt on the cross." I cried out as the pain intensified, and then suddenly, I was silent. My eyes, open and fixed, saw nothing. While the doctors heroically worked on by body to save my life, I waited someplace else. It was a place beyond pain. It was a place that hovered between life and death. It was the reality of belief.

I have a vivid memory during this brief time of waking up in a place that was bathed in a crystal blue light. I felt an intense sense of peace, a peace beyond comprehension. I was home. There was no pain, no fear, and no sorrow. I felt free of everything that would burden me. I was overcome with a feeling of extreme love that I cannot begin to explain. I was not alone. I saw three translucent figures off to one side, and a fourth standing closer to me. They all smiled. The crystal blue light shone through them. The peace intensified. Then I heard voices call my name. It was a faint sound at first. I ignored it as I clung to what I was experiencing. The voices grew louder. "Mary, come back. Stay with us, Mary, stay with us." I knew that if I went to where they were it would be painful, but I felt drawn to their pleas. I looked at the figures as they drew near and said, "I'm sorry. I have to go. They need me." The beautiful figures smiled. In an instant the soft blue light became a bright white light. My eyes moved. I saw the doctors standing over me and felt an intense wave of pain. I knew I was alive. I saw my family in the hall as I was wheeled to the operating room for emergency open chest surgery to repair my aorta. I called to them, "I love you. Ask people to pray." They prayed, and I am here.

Since my near-death experience I realize in a new way what it means to be born into eternal life, to rest in peace. The promises of Christ are fulfilled in death. I realize in a new way that our life on earth is temporary, that we are on a journey to a place where the only thing we take with us is who we are. God is always with us on our life's journey, whether we realize it or not. Death itself, whether painful or peaceful, is also a journey and we are never alone. God journeys with us in death, as He does in life, and He sends His angels to watch over us. I realize in a new way that the blessing of the gift of life is to live in such a way as to foreshadow an eternity of peace in the presence of God. No matter how difficult life is, no matter the pain, the fear, the sorrow, the struggles, there is comfort in knowing that there is a place where we will join with those who have gone before. It is a place of perfect love, of incomprehensible peace. It is the place promised to us by Jesus.

It was not the easiest lesson I ever learned, but surly the most profound. We need not be afraid for God is always with us. And with God, all things are possible.